untitled

this morning out of the blue I was talking to my self in English in the toilet. I guess that's because of recently I watched a movie called " never let me go" and that remind me the beauty of the english assent. I thought my english was alright until I went to Britain. then only after 3 month I finally realize my "a" sound come from British root so I misunderstood many words in American. understood. it's embarrassed that one thought one know their language. like if you go to Italy you simply forget it and just do guessing that you start to use your finger speaking your own mother tongue and still you can buy your food and drinks. we want others to understand so we speak. it's not an act of understanding maybe pretend to understand. yet, we still speak out of silence, out of emptiness. we speak to ourselves like we talk to others. we try to kill the silence. we try to defeat the absolute. listening is a non-action. like you now in the void. my words are tangible once it's out of my mind then slip through my mouth, or my fingers. through this machine that breaks the TIME. so

I speak at now and you listen in future or I speak to the future for my present self to be existed in the past. computer is like a name to the machine. people thought it sounds better like they prefer calling the the handicaps the disables and the blacks yellow orange red colored. like these machines that stores memories used to be books, papers, words; stones, trees, sands; WATER. things are always the same yet names changes. since we create names for the sake of easiness. so to group things categorize things big groups small groups majority minority then we find our belongs and we loose ourselves.

breathe in breathe out, that's how we forget. that we actually essentially based on this such simple action to survive to live and to forget. and we forget how do we forget. we never remember that, or we never learn. we never learn how we forget yet we do; like we never learn how to get older yet we do. happy sad mad bored hungry full hope eagerness memory we thought we learn yet we don't; we just learnt to named them and then misunderstood ourselves. and others. we thought we think we could tell think smile cry eat drink and see faces and never read emotions. we never learn to dream but we dream. and we forgot our dreams. like we forget the air . everywhere. nowhere.



-------------------


.